Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
