Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
