i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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