I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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