absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Randomize
