just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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