yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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