I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
