just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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