I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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