I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
only you would photoshop your dick
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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