Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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