I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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