it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
