Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
