just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
