Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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