are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
