You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
