so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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