Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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