How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize