Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
