So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
