So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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