i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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