I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
