i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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