There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
