He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
