He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
