Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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