I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
