honey bunches of taint.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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