the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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