So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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