We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
