Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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