You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
