So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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