i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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