that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
