Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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