so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
