oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
