I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
