u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
