I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize