A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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