I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
