I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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