it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
