As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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