And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
