I hate all girls vehemently.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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