So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
