I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
